More drama

3 days left til test day! Woo Hoo!!!

Just had to put a positive spin at the start of this one.

Saturday night at work, I actually had to walk away from a conversation my co-workers were having. It started with the nursing supervisor ogling my pg co-worker (yep, the one who hated being a mother) and asking her "did you swallow a beach ball or something?". It then proceeded to a doctor, two nurses, the nursing supervisor, and the secretary all complaining about pregnancy and how easy it is for some of them to get pregnant. You know the line "my husband just looks at me and I'm pregnant"--yep, this doctor has used that one a few times. They were all talking about the various options to make sure that they didn't get pregnant again. Meanwhile, I'm turned with my back to them, trying very hard not to break down while I focus on my charting. At one point, I looked at my charge nurse (who is a dear friend and so very supportive) and she knew why I was escaping. I made it all the way to the back hallway before I broke down. My charge nurse followed me, gave me a big hug, and said "you actually lasted longer than I thought you would".

Now, I'm not expecting everyone to walk on eggshells around me. I'm not asking that they don't share happy news or that they hide their pregnancies. In fact, I think that would make it even worse. I don't want to be this bitter, angry person who can't celebrate with pregnant friends. But, on the other hand, I've been very open with all of them about our struggle. They all know how hard this has been for me (heck, one of them even struggled with IF!). A little consideration would be nice.

I left work early on Sunday morning because the ER was practically empty. I got to sleep by 7 am, but started waking up around noon with a headache. I took some tylenol and tried to go back to sleep. I dozed on and off until around 4, when my head was pounding so hard that I couldn't lay there anymore. I took a couple more tylenol but it didn't help. I was nauseated and dizzy, too. I've never had a headache like this before in my life. If I could have figured out how to re-attach it later, I would have amputated my own head to make the pain stop.

I called in sick to work and tried to lay down again. My loving husband tried to make me feel better--making me toast, sitting with me, rubbing my back, getting me some meds, whatever he could do to help. When I was still nauseated despite taking meds, and the pain hadn't let up at all, I decided to go into an ER as a patient. I got up to get dressed and finally threw up. If I thought my head hurt before, it was nothing compared to how bad it felt when I vomited.

We drove up to the nearest ER and someone helped me into a wheelchair after I nearly walked into a wall because I was so dizzy. They brought me back to a room and started an IV. She gave me fluids and meds, but it just seemed to make me loopy, not really helping with the pain. They did a CT scan of my head and I was definitely loopy as I forgot to ask them to shield my belly. I got back to the room and waited for results. Another kind nurse brought me more drugs, which really made me feel strange, but at least helped some with the pain.

The ER doc then decided that the fertility meds were too unknown to him and maybe they're causing bleeding in my brain (even with a negative CT?) so he wanted to do a spinal tap. I figured if he was concerned enough to do it, maybe I should let him (apparently, the drugs were interfering with my nurse brain). So, I got prepped and into position. He tried twice, but couldn't get it in the right spot to get any fluid. Holy cow! That was painful, even with the local anesthetic! He gave up when the pain was going to my right hip/leg. He wanted to do it again, but with fluoroscopy (aka, a big x-ray that lets them see to get it in the right spot). Ummm, possibly pg here--no way am I going to let you shoot major x-rays at my lower back/pelvis region! So, we discussed the risks of doing it, plus other ways to look more closely at the vessels in my head. Since my risk of bleeding with a negative CT are low, and he felt I was "reliable" to come back if things got worse, he let me go home.

I got home and pretty much went straight to bed (after taking two pain pills). I am amazed that I slept as well as I did, seeing as I had slept most of the day on Sunday. I feel much better this morning, just a twinge of a headache. My back hurts more than my head does today. My guess is that I had my first migraine, and I sure hope I never have another one!