Really?

As if the events of the weekend/Monday weren't bad enough!

Today I found out that my 25-year old niece is 7 weeks pregnant with baby #2. She and her husband only got married because she got pregnant with their son. They were both bartenders, and then she went to work at a temp job in manufacturing while he went back to school. Now he has his first post-college job (which he's had for less than a year), so she quit her job and they want to move out of their apartment, buy a house, and have baby #2. They can barely pay the bills they have, and now they want to take on a house and another kid!?!

Not that she isn't a good mom to her son, because she is. She grew up as a very self-centered, spoiled only child and only grandchild for my in-laws. Motherhood has really helped her grow out of that. But it's just not fair! (commence foot-stomping, pouting tantrum on my part)

Plus, I had to go pick up my dog's ashes today. I cried the whole way over there, as it really made it so much more real and final. The staff at the emergency vet was so wonderful. The vet cardiologist and ultrasound tech who diagnosed his tumor last Friday were there and they both came out to hug me and talk about him. One of the receptionists that was there over the weekend came out with tears in her eyes. I brought them cookies and a thank-you note with a picture of the big guy, and they all loved seeing what he looked like before he got so sick and swollen.

I just can't believe that I have my beloved Thor sitting in a (very heavy) box on my counter. It still doesn't seem real that he's gone. Putting him down was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I still cry every time I think about missing his sweet face. I don't even want to clean his slobber marks off the wall, knowing he isn't here to make any more. DH and I are going to spread his ashes in a few places next week. The crematorium made a paw print for us, but it's not as good as the one we did. It's on heart-shaped plaster and it didn't even get his whole huge paw. Couldn't they have used a bigger mold to get the whole paw? Then, I nearly broke the one we did in trying to get it off the cutting board to dry. If it had broken, I would really have lost it. (I'm definitely not trying to move it again) When DH gets back from his trip, I think we are going to make a casting of ours with plaster or alginate so that we know we will be able to use it. I want to send it off to a place I found that will make silver jewelry from a mold of his paw print. I also think that, once we build our patio at this house, I want to make a stepping stone with his paw in it. I was kind of hoping to find one of his big paw prints out in the yard and make a plaster casting of it as a back-up, but tonight's rain eliminated any chance of that.

I'm supposed to volunteer at a community health fair in the morning, but I really don't think I'm up to it. I'm not sure I can put on the happy face just yet. Not to mention the dental pain I'm (still!) having. I had a crown put on Tuesday, and the pain is still so intense. I wish he would have just done the root canal so at least there wouldn't be any more pain. I'm thinking that I'm only giving this dentist one more chance to get this right before I change dentists. I'm getting really sick of this month-long pain!