Arrrrgh!

Somehow I got in into my head to start testing for preg.nancy. See, I needed to take some more ibuprofen for my dental pain. I got a filling done on Tuesday and it's still causing me pain--not my dentist's fault (he's my neighbor and he's a great dentist)--every filling I have ever gotten has been like this, multiple trips for revisions due to pain. So I tested yesterday afternoon (BFN) and then promptly took 3 Advil. My (il)logical brain took over and insisted that I test this morning since yesterday's test wasn't done with FMU. Funny, it was the same stinking result.

What did I do with this info? I went promptly to my favorite charting website and searched for post-IUI pg charts with late BFP's and BFN's before BFP's. Plus, they have this new feature that told me that only 60% of pg women have gotten BFP's at 12DPO or sooner. Why do I let this stuff get my hopes up, only to make it harder when they eventually are forced to come crashing down?

Plus, I have a dilemma about what to do with next cycle. So, assuming this cycle will end with yet more BFN's and the arrival of the old hag, I think we are going to have to take a break next cycle and I really don't want to. We are going out of town from late on 4/11 thru late on 4/15. Assuming I continue this cycle as prescribed, taking my progesterone and estrogen until Sunday's BFN, I'm sure AF won't come until Tuesday or so, putting CD14 smack dab in the middle of our trip. I could just go on Clo.mid and then hope that I ovu.late later than CD14 (which I did the last time I took it--I think it was CD17 once and CD20 the other time). I don't really want to take all the meds and waste the money if we aren't going to be able to have the IUI, but I'm really impatient with this whole thing anyway and waiting one more month seems impossible. On the one hand, we would be able to avoid having a due date at Christmas. But, on the other hand, now our child won't be born until next year and 2011 is way too far away! What to do, what to do?